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wRamblings of a Giggling Baka |
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Heed the words of a Psycho!
On The 01-09-05, The Baka Is Currently....
Feeling...Remoseful
Listening To...Magic by the Cars
Wearing...MASH shirt and MASH Pjs
Talking to...no one
Eating...nada
Drinking...Pepsi One
Reading...Too many books!
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Can You See Me?
Wednesday, January 01, 2003 |
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Ramble Topic One: Rambling of a Kyousha's Heart
To Nate: I know you read this and....well...::shrugs:: I don't know...just don't be upset if I offend you somehow.
Hmmm, I listened to Ross and Aly talk about Gwen and Zach...it made me think. Just like when I "listened" to the seniors talk about boys, love, and marriage. And it makes me think. What does love truly mean...or what is it? I love my friends and I love Nate in that way too or I did...now...I'm just confused with my overly strange happy/sad feelings.
I suck at expressing my feelings. I just don't know how. I mean you can tell when I'm in a bad mood. I usually have a sad patheic smile on my face. Though...I don't know how to -tell- people my feelings. How to explain to them what's going on in me. I want to be with Nate. I think he's one of the coolest (and cutest) people I know.
I write to explain. Unlabeled Fantasy...shows my feelings well and my limited writing ability....but that's for another rambling topic. I...I don't know what to think when I think of Nate. I know I love him, difinately as a friend. But as something else? I don't know...when I say 'I love you' to him, I do mean it. With all of my heart because I do love him esspecially as a close friend. I just don't know. It's hard ya know?
I do -not- want to break up with him at all. Though I know they say you should try to date other people. Even if I would they would probably Ross or Lawrence. Two guys just like Nate. Ross and Nate look the same and Nate and Lawrence are both into Anime. ^_^ I'm sadly pathetic aren't I? I can relate to Nate so much...(and smile just makes me...swoon? ::shrugs::) Just like I could with the other two but there's just something more about Nate...something I just can't quite grasp.
Camp and him have actually strengthed my faith in Jesus. I believed in it beofre just because I was brought up in the faith and I had to take the classes in grade school. But somehow in some way Camp, Nate, and Theology class(forget this one) have opened my eyes to something more that's going on in my life. :;shrugs:: Just something more...
They say arguments make a relationship. If you don't argue does that mean you won't survive? By nature, I don't like to argue with people. Though I can if I want and I've never really quarlled with Nate at all. What does this mean...that we don't see each other enough to have things to fight over? Maybe after Nate gets his drivers lincease and stuff....
I better quit now...I have run out things I want to say and I've said a whole lot at the whole.
Ramble Topic Two: Though I write...why can't I?
Hmmm....why I write is a wonder...I know -nothing- on grammer at all. I know V and Sage like my stories and say I'm good but Aly really doesn't help...I know she's trying to help me improve but I never get praise from her and I really want her to like one of my stories...sad little wonder I am...::sighs:: I suck at writing...**To Be Continued**
Ramble Topic Three: Civics
Yeah....I think I failed my final but I had an A in the test...but did you have to get a D or higher to pass the class on the final? Cause Mr Sharp said that was like the constitional test thing for the US or whatever...seriously I have no idea. I wish I woulda studied more but I lost brain power on the last day. And on the last pages I couldn't even think anymore. My brain just fizzled and fried. I don't have enough brain power for that sort of thing. ::sighs:: If I have to take Civics again I am not going to take it at next year. I will go to summer school at Collinsville...::sighs/gags:: I raelly hope I didn't fail that class. I want to take Ancient History...it's my speciality. I know I did well on all my other classes. They're all easy in my opinion. I know of the Greeks and they're myths, I know of the Ions and the Biomes, I know of the counties of Latain America...I just don't know the friggin' US consition junk! I wish Mr Voss was teaching...I actually -understood- what was going on then when he taught. Geography is gonna be a no brainer once again for me. I know that like I know my ancient history...I wish I was smarter...
I'm getting all sniffly...ending this blog update...
T3H B4K4 last Rambled @
9:59:00 PM
Cookies?-[ Cookies!]
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