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wRamblings of a Giggling Baka |
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Heed the words of a Psycho!
On The 01-09-05, The Baka Is Currently....
Feeling...Remoseful
Listening To...Magic by the Cars
Wearing...MASH shirt and MASH Pjs
Talking to...no one
Eating...nada
Drinking...Pepsi One
Reading...Too many books!
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Can You See Me?
Saturday, June 07, 2003 |
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Kyo-Chi's Words of Wisdom
When feelings get bottled up and need to get them out, call your best friend and let them come all pouring out.
I am Happy and yet they are not.
I do not understand this. How can I be so happy and carefree when more then half of my friends suffer from sadness/depression or loss of life(social/family/whatever)? I want to help them!! I want to know how they feel so I can give good advice that helps. I don't want to be on the sideline watching them suffer. I want to strip them of their sadness and replace with my own being. I want them to be free and happy. To cut their bonds of whatever just let them see life the way I do.
I want everything that I can not achieve.
I just want to help my friends.
But how can i help when I do not understand?
How come I am blessed with my life and my personality?
How come nothing sad seems to effect me? Am I void of emotions? Did I lose something back in 8th grade? Did I gain something that no one else can seem to achieve?
Why am i me?? Why can not share my views and my laughter, my happiness, my life?!
I have so many questions and yet no answers.
I've talked to people about this and they've offered the limited knowledge they have. All i can offer to my friends is a shoulder to lean on and someone that will listen to every problem, whether it be day or night or anything of the like. If I can not understand the most I can do is just be there.
I just want to help.
That's all....but I can not when I know not of the things that i speak.
If only I could share a part of me. The part that makes everything seem golden and unreal. The part of me that comes out only in the worst times bringing me back to what I know.
::sighs:: I was in a low at camp on Friday....mostly cause Nate was busy with all the kids that were catching fish. I guess the selfish part of my mind was angry that Nate was not spending time with me and that the kids were catching fish but then...that part of me came out. I looked to the sunset.
It was pink and a beautiful blue. I looked to the spill way and saw the lights glow golden on top. It looked magincient. My soul kind of filled up with a...joy. That the rainy day had turned into a wonderful night. I was with my friends and with Nate. I was at camp away from everything I know in life.
I was glad I was alive. That I could see the sunset. That i was with people that loved and cared for me.
I want to share that with people. That feeling that I get when I start to fall into despair. I just bounce right out it never getting too deep into it that I'll be stuck there.
One big thing that saves me is Christian Comtempory Praise songs. They just lift my soul and make it sail to the fartherest reaches. It brings me back into reality and why i am alive.
I wish I could share my joy with people.
If i could I would give my love to the world. I would fill it to the brim and let it overflow. Perhaps it would create a river of blessings...or something just as sweet and nice.
Why can't the world love....
Feelings of hate that I do know, should be left all of their woe. Anger and despair will be no more, love and happiness is what will soar.
If only the world would love...
T3H B4K4 last Rambled @
10:14:00 PM
Cookies?-[ Cookies!]
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