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Can You See Me? Sunday, August 03, 2003 Ya know...I don't care anymore about this summer. Some things were good. Some things were bad. One thing to look forward to is school. Work will keep things off my mind, I'll be surrounded by friends, and I'll enjoy all the extra things I do. I don't know, maybe I have so such self-doubt in myself that it blinds to see things how they truly are when I am lost in my own muck. I mean I don't believe in that I am special...even when people tell me that I am pretty or that I can do something well. I don't believe that I am all that smart. I can pull off decent grades but not all that well. I'm short and squat and loosing weight is a freaking unbelievingly hard journery...but... Somehow, I seem to forget that when I am with Nate or around people. I seem to remember it all on my computer or doing nothing...Listening to music helps me a lot too ya know...I don't know what is wrong with me. I mean I was crying over having to work and not being able to go home on friday/saturday. I mean, it's just small matters that I could have controlled but I let myself get the better of me for no reason. There's something oddly wrong with me. I mean, I'm the optimist aren't I? I'm supposed to be the one that brings ppl back from the dark places and give the unconditional love to all that need it and to those that don't. But what happens when I even doubt that? I mean, I feel like I'm not good enough to really be the optimist of my friends...I can't help myself in my own troubles and I won't burden anyone else with my own. I'm just babbling and I bet none of this makes sense... Maybe I wasn't cut out to be what I am...but I don't even know what I am... All well... Life is a journy and I just gotta find a find or blaze my own trail. T3H B4K4 last Rambled @ 11:42:00 PM Cookies?-[ Cookies!] What's Your Ramble? Post a Comment