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wRamblings of a Giggling Baka |
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Heed the words of a Psycho!
On The 01-09-05, The Baka Is Currently....
Feeling...Remoseful
Listening To...Magic by the Cars
Wearing...MASH shirt and MASH Pjs
Talking to...no one
Eating...nada
Drinking...Pepsi One
Reading...Too many books!
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Can You See Me?
Sunday, April 25, 2004 |
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Bloody Hell, here we go AGAIN
Sarah: Are you like mad at me or anything?
Mo: no
Sarah: you act like it
Mo: no i dont
Sarah: been actin' like it but w/e
Sarah: yeah, you do
Mo: im acting like the world is blah, therefore, it seems that i am mad...but im not
Sarah: not fair to the rest of the world huh
Mo: the rest of the world probably doesnt care
Sarah: And I can't say you act like that w/ meghan or cate, but w/e..
Sarah: I'm talkin' about me weirdo
Mo: im sorry, its hard to act..."normal" or whatnot around you
Sarah: y
Mo: ::shrugs:: you've hurt me and the wounds havent healed. i try to cover it up with a fake smile or a weak laugh and eventually i just give up and withdraw into my shell where no one else can hurt me
Sarah: I hurt you, that's a laugh but whatever...
Mo: you have, didnt say you were anymore
Sarah: You hurt me too damnit and you don't see me shutin' down what use ta be a cool friendship
Sarah: and I never said that either
Mo: im sorry, but i have a different way of coping with pain
Sarah: I'm sorry but you don't get over it
Mo: i lock myself up into my own little world, i havent let anyone get close to me or anything...in a truth i hold everyone at an arm's, including you
Mo: im coping, not over it, there is a difference
Mo: *arm's length
Sarah: Yeah, I know and the copin'.. sucks
Mo: yuuup
Sarah: I know you dun hold meghan and Co. at an arm's length away.. dun lie to me
Sarah: I see what I even did to hurt you, you know
Mo: You want a truth, no I dont hold Meaghan an arm's length away because she helps me calm down and start to relax. So has Ash and Nate...they've sat there and listened to me and have taken my mind away from all this and its helped.
Sarah: aww how sweet becuz you know what fuck
Mo: that may have at one time hurt me
Sarah: I don't give a damn any more, I've been tryin' to be patient with anything and everything...
Tryin' to forget the past cuz I already forgave everything so we could move on w/ life and have some fun, but since we have a baby in the crowd it won't happen so yeah...
Mo: are you trying to push me?
Sarah: lol where
Sarah signed on at 6:54:35 PM.
Mo: into a maddening state where I say things in which i will say things I will regret, that would be where.
Sarah: No, I'm tellin' you you are treatin' me like I'm a freakin' bitch and I've been nice and tryin' to get things back to good
Mo: hmm, are you really trying now...
Sarah: You know what, fuck you and that shity ass attitude you have I quit you hear...
Sarah signed off at 6:57:29 PM.
Sarah signed on at 6:59:38 PM.
Sarah: Why the hell do you think you are the only innocent one and the only fuckin' one that can ever get and got hurt
Mo: who ever said I think that
Sarah: no one, but you act like that every single day
Mo: do I, do I really...why?
Sarah: how the hell should I know
I say baby, can't get over junk. and unwilling to forgive, but what do I know
Mo: is this how you work out things? blaming others and calling others names?
Sarah: you wish
Sarah: is this how you work things out? Alienatin' people and blockin' 'em out?
Mo: y'know...i thought we were doing pretty well this week, perhaps not so now...
yup, i do, that is my way of trying to come to terms with myself...i talk to some ppl that i feel are able to help the situation but otherwise, I will occupy myself with other things
Sarah: great now that I know that I'll move to Pluto
Mo: i either fix the problem right when it arises...or try to
or i play my little isolation game
Sarah: soo 3rd grade, but w/e
Mo: im sorry, i cant act all high school-ish like you, im just a different person
Sarah: Me too, but I couldn't ignore you if I tried
And the times you say I did I was either
A) sick
B) had the worse day
C)Stressin' over something
but ya'd know that if you took the time and iniciatve to find out instead of runnin' away
Mo: you just yell at me, so why would i stick around when im getting pushed around.
Sarah: I do not yell at you
You won't let me live the way I want and pout over it
Oh, yeah... I yell at you.. cuz everytime we try to talk things over it's all my fault
Mo: why do you always say its your fault when its NOT
Sarah: becuz that's how you act, say,
You say it's not my fault but why the hell would you be playin' your stupid isolulation game if it wasn't
Mo: because i dont want to be hurt again
Sarah: and I do
Mo: do you not understand this? i let you and you've hurt me a lot more then once and now I am just weary of having my heart stomped on and ripped apart again and again
Sarah: Okay, then you know what
Sarah: I'll fix it all for you
Sarah: stay away from me
Sarah: don't talk to me
Sarah: and yeah
Sarah: you don't wanna work it out then that's fine
Sarah: becuz it takes two to tango sweetie
Mo: but i do want to fix things..
Sarah: and we're on opposite times for God only knows why
Sarah: no the fuck you don't
Mo: if i didnt want to, do you think id still be talking to you, taking all of this?
Sarah: talkin'
Sarah: takin
Sarah: you mean copin'
Sarah: right
Sarah: ha
Sarah: " Oh, what the hell, at least you're talkin' to me..."
Remember that
Sarah: like that's how you wanna fix things
Sarah: so yeah, maybe when we both can be Big Girls we can talk
Mo: yeah...
Sarah: yeah, and while I'm away, think about what I did to hurt you and then tell me so I know.. thanx
Mo: fine
Sarah: good, bye
Mo: cya
~*~*~
I'm just too screwed up for this world...whatever I did to deserve this I wish I could take it back...it's all a piece of cookie crums...
T3H B4K4 last Rambled @
6:49:00 PM
Cookies?-[ Cookies!]
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