 |
|
wRamblings of a Giggling Baka |
|
|
 |
Heed the words of a Psycho!
On The 01-09-05, The Baka Is Currently....
Feeling...Remoseful
Listening To...Magic by the Cars
Wearing...MASH shirt and MASH Pjs
Talking to...no one
Eating...nada
Drinking...Pepsi One
Reading...Too many books!
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
Can You See Me?
Friday, April 30, 2004 |
|
|
|
A Letter to Meggy
~*~*~
Lo Siento...I didn't mean to sound bored tonight on the ride home...In truth, I was really tired and that song 'Unwell' by Matchbox 20 set off a tigger of emotions...
Ya know when you think you've given it you're all but still nothing seems to go right...that you'd do anything, anything to make things better again? Ever sacerficing your own happiness for someone else's...but then it all seems so hopeless and all you want to do is break down and cry...
This is kinda how I feel with Sarah...I've given her almost everything i have to offer....I put her before Nate, I gave her almost all my free time...i even gave her the thing I keep locked up the most, my heart...but still, what does it matter to her?
She has a guy now...a perfectly wonderful guy that was once my friend...though now, now what am I? I am a figment of an imagination. I'm afraid to let people in again, I'm afraid to let my emotions out...and when they do, they need to come in random bursts that hurt enough to actually make me cry...
And I dun cry easily. You can yell at me, scream at me, hit me...and I'll just stand there with a hurt look...but to make me cry, means you've hit the heart...the thing I try to keep locked away and hidden from light...
I don't know if I can trust anyone again like I did Sarah...I'm more open with Nate and other friends, such as you, now...but not as I was with her. I could tell her -anything-...and now, now I'm afraid she'll just break me again...
I can't even stand up, or fight for myself...I'm so used to being pushed around...Used to helping people out even at the cost of whatever it may be...I mean, i'll do anyhting for almost anyone, and for a friend, i dont know, I'd probably give them my life if it was asked for...
I just...wonder why no one else seems to be this way....and why people hurt one another for pleasure or payback...I didn't mean to be jealous of Russ...I didn't try to break them apart even though I could've at the beginning...I didn't do anything but be Mo...and being Mo seems to have caused me a lot...pain...
Does that mean I should be someone else?
::sigh:: I dun know...::cuddles with her books and cds:: I'm gonna go to bed.
Good job tonight! You were absolutely amazing! ^_^ Keep it up!
With cookies,
Mo
~
What am I do with these feelings?
T3H B4K4 last Rambled @
11:25:00 PM
Cookies?-[ Cookies!]
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
