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wRamblings of a Giggling Baka |
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Heed the words of a Psycho!
On The 01-09-05, The Baka Is Currently....
Feeling...Remoseful
Listening To...Magic by the Cars
Wearing...MASH shirt and MASH Pjs
Talking to...no one
Eating...nada
Drinking...Pepsi One
Reading...Too many books!
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Can You See Me?
Friday, January 28, 2005 |
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So I'm gonna type on here so Gerber can't degrade my all ready low self-esteem anymore.
Ah-hem....AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAHHH!!!
STRESSSTRESSSTRESSSS!!
Okay, so, first off, these last two weeks have been HELL. I don't know why, I'm starting not to care, and I just want to HARM something. I'm about ready to go buy a foam staff and start hitting a random guy senseless.
Dear Lord! How can two weeks go so horrid!
A) I'm not sleeping. At All. Thanks a lot HW and BBall.
B) BBall is HELL
C) I'm just pissed off
Oh and why am I in such a crappy mood? BECAUSE I AM A MORON! Dear Lord, do I amaze myselef at how stupid that I CAN BE. I swear, it's amazing how like conceited/self-centered/idiotic I can manage to be in one day.
Then, oh yes and THEN! On the freaking one day i get to sleep well, my dumbass father comes into my room and depends to know where the hell the system disks are. I'm sorry but what the hell gives him the right to do this? HE DAMN WELL KNOWS I haven't been sleeping well and that I've been looking. And damnit, I'm being emotional and I hate being emotional because emotions just don't love me!
NYRRAAAAH! And then I have to get up at like 6 on Sunday and thank God, 9 tomorrow for Nate's bday but still.
AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAHH!!!
And...sigh. I lose at life. I won't even go into my whole rant about the minions...
I hate friendships at times.
All well.
Life goes on.
Well, good things that happened.
Well, I called Tara and she still at Robyn's (GRAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAH**deepbreathdeepbreath** Fusteration!!) and I was sorta hoping she would come shopping with me or even go to the movies...but no. So, I basically just went 'screw her' (badattitudebadattitudebadmobadmo) and called Stephen instead. So Stephen and I went to Arby's for lunch then to Slackers and then to the Bing shop. He helped me buy Nate's xmas gifts.
Then I took my mommy to the movies with Jill and Stephen and we saw Phantom...it also seems like that everyone but me was crying. I sometimes gotta wonder if I have any senstivity left in me at times. I mean it was sad...but I just didnt care.
I think I either care too much or too little...
All well.
I sometimes have gotta wonder if I belong with any group of friends....the CT is like dead because of the rifts caused between us by A) graduation B) the hatred of Stuart. My minions...have their own friends and I guess we don't really have time for each other, That or I spend too much time with them. Who knows. My boys...have finally grown up and are definately expanding their horizons. Sigh. And everyone else, just everyone else. Ashley is just psychoatic and dependent on Dane. Sarah is screwed over by her parents and I just don't care anymore...because they don't care either. I juggled them around Nate...but they don't juggle me around their boys. And I try to be good. I try to be accepting and understanding;....but it's hard to be in second place in someone's heart...and we're supposed to be best friends. But what does Best Friends mean anyways?
The only person who is there for me, who puts me 1st in his heart, is Nate...and I think I put everyone too equal with my love...I think I try to make everyone feel special and happy...and i guess I forget about him...and myself.
I don't know how to be happy without being around people...or making others happy.
I'm not good at being alone...
I'm not good at anything really.
But it doesn't really matter cause nothing really does. What matters is that you live a good life and believe in Christ...and thus, life goes on with or without you. Because it waits for no one but itself and as such, well, we're all screwed.
And as I always say, All well.
~ Mo
T3H B4K4 last Rambled @
11:40:00 PM
Cookies?-[ Cookies!]
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