 |
|
wRamblings of a Giggling Baka |
|
|
 |
Heed the words of a Psycho!
On The 01-09-05, The Baka Is Currently....
Feeling...Remoseful
Listening To...Magic by the Cars
Wearing...MASH shirt and MASH Pjs
Talking to...no one
Eating...nada
Drinking...Pepsi One
Reading...Too many books!
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
Can You See Me?
Wednesday, October 29, 2003 |
|
|
|
aye...im still being bothered by this whole, you get to you your b/f whenever you want sort of thing....the thoughts running through my head are just...eep-ish...they're going like 'I've been with him longer, I should be able to see him whenever I want! THey havent been together for more then a month or whatever and they've seen each other more then I have seen Nate! The stupid luck of my life....curse curse curse' and so stuff like that...envious that I am...but I also know I have something more that could
not be explained in words....ran out of space, lol
its just that sort of stuff for some of it...
and im worried about bball...i dont know...I feel insecure with what limited skills I have developed with little/no natural talent...im also scared ill get cut...its just an ever present mind-est in my mind...
I really, really have little self-confidence in physical abilities...
though I know im more physically fit then ever...
course im just a stupid baka that likes to worry over petty details....but that's just a personally defect...
and usually whenever I see you v-line towards David, ill wander off to my other friends....tis better to not to see or hear anything then to be there and think hateful thoughts
course now Im just talking to myself...what the hell....im being so stupid and yet i can;'t even get over it! ive seeked advice, ive confronted what I know...and still feelings that plague me that I do not wish for still will not leave me! whta I have I done this time to deserve such toture...was it because I found love? or is there some greater scheme to this picture
for why is there punishment for happiness? why can I not support that I know is a quite a cute thing....feelings that i hvae, that are of every human nature....feelings that I wish were destoryed! gone from this earth to bring about a better world!
and yet...if there was no evil....the balance of things would be discontent and chaos would appear....evil needs good and good needs evil to survive...such is the balance of things
and if a heart can not love and hate, tis not a heart at all but a hole that destorys...
such bitterness this all is....such humanity and reality it also seems to be
now....isn't that just beautiful....
My life, how....utterly boring.
T3H B4K4 last Rambled @
9:14:00 PM
Cookies?-[ Cookies!]
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
