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wRamblings of a Giggling Baka |
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Heed the words of a Psycho!
On The 01-09-05, The Baka Is Currently....
Feeling...Remoseful
Listening To...Magic by the Cars
Wearing...MASH shirt and MASH Pjs
Talking to...no one
Eating...nada
Drinking...Pepsi One
Reading...Too many books!
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Can You See Me?
Sunday, November 23, 2003 |
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Romans 7:15 - In fact, I don't understand why I act the way I do. I don't do what I know is right. I do the things I hate.
I confess to God that I am a poor, misrable sinner...
Something to reflect on...it touches me so cause I seem to be unable to do all the things I want to do...I want to help and yet I hurt...I want to save and yet I destory...I want to be good and yet I am still human...always human but always still forever me...
Ramble Topic: Don't Say Ya Love Me
Don't say you love me, you don't even me...blah blah blah...dun know the rest of the song...but sometimes I feel as if no one knows who I am and yet they love me...a lot of my friends dun know the bad sides of me but they still see all the good in me.
Which I am so thankful for.
They say I'm such a good person but sometimes...I feel so selfish and too human (for me) that it seems I'm just like everyone I don't like...I'm becoming not what I want!
I don't want to be jealous of something that I have more of!
I don't want to envy someone for having someone else's time!
I don't want to be mad over something I can't control!
I don't want to be sad and not able to think of anyone but myself!
I don't want to be selfish EVER!
I WANT TO BE HAPPY AND CAREFREE!
I want to be the GGP that everyone can lean on in a time of need!
I don't to be needy...
I want to do my own thing!
Gosh dang it!
I WANT TO BE ME!
But...what if me is everything I don't want to be?
Then what am I gonna do?
My friends are my life! I don't want to hinder them with my problems...I want to be a pillar of strength and happyness to always help them! I love them...I'd do anything, ANYTHING for each and everyone of my friends, no matter what they've done to me.
I'd even give Shawn Presser money to help him pay for something and expect nothing in return...I may not like him as I did before but he still has a place in my heart...Everyone that has ever been a good friend has a room in the heart of mine.
I'd do anything for them without asking for much in return!
They just do so much for me that i want to do everything I can for them!
And I will! Nothing can stop me from supporting the dreams of my friends!
But sometimes...I'm just so scared that if I let all the things in me out that they'll become wary of me...to loose a friend is to loose my heart...and to loose my heart makes me become everything I do not want to be...
I'm just so scared at times...
Sometimes I just dun know...
Why do you love?
Any one of you that reads this, why do you love me?
T3H B4K4 last Rambled @
7:32:00 PM
Cookies?-[ Cookies!]
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