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wRamblings of a Giggling Baka |
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Heed the words of a Psycho!
On The 01-09-05, The Baka Is Currently....
Feeling...Remoseful
Listening To...Magic by the Cars
Wearing...MASH shirt and MASH Pjs
Talking to...no one
Eating...nada
Drinking...Pepsi One
Reading...Too many books!
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Can You See Me?
Saturday, December 13, 2003 |
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Well....have you felt as if people use you? Like if you pics of your friend they'll say that they want some and then add as an afterthought 'and of you of course' but you know they just want to see your friend...It just makes you seethe with anger and you just say 'go ask them for some' and yet...that friend does not have a scanner. I do not want to him a picture of her, that I do not.
Blah...
Ya know...after this past year...I wonder who I am anymore.
I surely can be called the true optimist that I was once was...not anymore...I need Aly at school for that. I don't know why...somehow everytime she is around, I feel happy and floaty and I act like the Baka I am...
With Sarah, I act serious and mildly sad. Because...well, I don't know. It's like I have to contrast her at times...
I really don't know.
I wonder who I am...I've lost a lot of my innocent bliss and can see like...all the bad things among the good now.
Have I mentioned I really don't like this year?
Blah...just blah is on my mind.
Truly..just truly, I wish I was as I was back a year ago. It was all so much fun and exciting!
Though there are a lot of positive things this year....such as kissing Nate. ::giggles:: He's such a sweetie. I don't care what anyone says. I am not looking for a guy, I am not interested in any other guys, and i don't care how tough it gets, he is mine and i am his.
Blah...okie so my post got deleted...
Really...I wish I was still in innocent bliss, it was so nice...Nothing seemed horrible and everything had a bright side to it...I think I'm in a soul-searching faze of my teenage years...discovering who i really am while trying to keep a hold of who i was....
I wonder why the world is as it is...
I mean, what's really taking a toll on me is all this fighting between my friends and I...is it really necessary? It hurts so much...I can see the wounds on my heart and the toll it has taken on my personality...I'm much more reserved now and am afraid to show who I really am to anyone...even if they are close to me...
Aly knows who I am.
She knows my story and everything about me. I trust her so much then a lot of people...She's just so awesome! Sarah is too...but...I don't know. I'm just...like...I don't know.
I really look up to Aly I suppose. She has such creative talents, it's amazing! She's had some problems but why hold that against her? She is just an amazing person through and through.
Course...not everyone can see that i guess....I don't know, it seemed that we instantly became friends, we bonded quite well at GSLS and riding my bike ot her house for a couple of years was awesome! Then she drove me to school...it was just so...much fun!
I miss those times...I miss a lot of stuff...I have gained and i have lost, it seems. Is that a bad or good thing?
So many things...so many times...It's so confusing! But...I still have many of my friends like Cate and Meaghan...I miss Melissa and Lawrence...I need to call them, but I've found Shawn again.
To lose is to gain...just like cookies are to milk. Sometimes I wonder...Sometimes I wonder...
::listens to band music:: Such music brings memories and peace to me...how I miss those times. ::drifts off with the music::
T3H B4K4 last Rambled @
10:09:00 PM
Cookies?-[ Cookies!]
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